For Thursday, December 29, 2011
Please don’t think less of me. I told you it’s a nasty habit. I promise myself I am not going to do it any more, time after time, but I can’t help myself. Sometimes it happens as I pass by a calendar in the house (I have too many of those by the way). Other times it happens when I am waking up in the morning. I think, “How many more days can I wake up without my alarm clock?” and then I begin to count. Thursday to Friday, one. Friday to Saturday, two. Saturday to Sunday, three. Sunday to Monday, four. Oh, the horror!! I need to stop this!
In the summertime I find myself doing the same thing, only it’s weeks that I count. When I reach the midway mark I resist feeling sad. I play mind games with myself and think, “Well, imagine if you didn’t have the month of August off. You’d have fewer than this!” But no matter how many scenarios I create, the truth remains...I’ve begun the nasty habit once again.
So, although I wish I did not know this, I am fully aware that I have four days of vacation left before it’s over. And with that knowledge I am now trying to figure out what I want to do with those four final days. My son asked me what we were doing tomorrow and I told him, “I don’t have any plans. Is there something YOU want to do tomorrow?” “I don’t know”, he replied. Is that a good thing? Or is he looking for me to suggest something? Is he content to stay at home tomorrow, hanging out? Or is he hoping I’ll suggest we go bowling with a couple of friends of his? What about my daughters? Do they have plans? Will they let me have a day at home doing whatever or will they hint that they’d like to go to the mall with me? What about Eric? Will he suggest we go to the movies? Do I want to go to the movies? Or would I rather stay home and putter around?
As pathetic as I can be when I begin obsessing over how many days I have left before vacation week ends, I sincerely hope that no matter WHAT I do tomorrow, I won’t count the hours left before the end of the day. Four o’clock to five o’clock, one hour. Five o’clock to six o’clock, two hours...