Monday, February 28, 2011

Call Me Crazy

In the 22 years of our marriage, my husband and I have spent very few days or nights apart from one another. Sharing the same profession and working at the same school has allowed us the same schedule and the same vacations, including 8-10 weeks each summer. When we married I had no idea that I’d become a teacher like he had become, or that I’d end up getting a position at his place of work. But that’s what happened, and although I am sure there have been at least a few people over the years who have looked at our situation wondering how we could possibly be sane and say we enjoy spending this much time together, I can honestly say that I am happy it worked out this way for us and for our family. Call me crazy, but I actually love spending extensive time with my husband.

It certainly is amazing to think of how few times we have found ourselves separated. There have been a few trips to New York City that I’ve made with our daughters without him and he has been to Washington DC twice accompanying them on their 8th grade field trips. But other than those trips and a couple of overnight conferences for work here and there over the years, it’s pretty safe to say we have practically been joined at the hip since we were in our early 20s.

As he packed for a four day, three night trip half way across the country to attend an educational conference with fellow teachers from our school, I teased him about getting the bed to himself. I told him how he would not have anyone hogging the covers and no one pushing him to the edge of the mattress, practically knocking him off. I was going to be home with four children so I thought it’d be unlikely that I would get lonely and yet, right from the moment he learned of the trip he had told me, “I am going to miss you”. I smirked at him in response. I brushed off his words and although I think I might have politely said, “I’ll miss you too”, I have to admit that I looked forward to having our bed all to myself for a few nights. I did not anticipate truly missing him in return. Call me mean.

Oh I am very capable of tending to the needs of my four children without him here. I am very good at running the household and even juggling work with other responsibilities on my own. I have a multitude of interests to occupy my time and I have many friends and family members who keep me entertained. I have always known that I don’t need a husband who has the same schedule and the same vacations. I have always thought of how I would enjoy having my own big bed to sprawl out in at night. But I have also been quick to realize that I’m happier having him to push to the edge of the mattress and to steal the covers from. I have always believed that the two of us together make a good team and that we’re better together than we are separate from one another.

So, although I have been perfectly fine with this time apart, when he gets home and he takes a moment to tell me that he missed me, I’ll again smirk, but I’ll be sure to tell him I missed him too. And I’ll even mean it. Call me crazy.

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