In No Need of Fixing

For Friday, September 9, 2011

A few weeks ago a friend mentioned how she would like to save money to have Lasik eye surgery so as to be able to toss her contacts and her glasses away. Hearing her, my husband was quick to tell her how I don’t want that surgery, that I am frightened of something going wrong during the procedure. That’s very true. But I also have to admit that when you’ve been as nearsighted as I have been for all these years, you also get quite accustomed to how the world looks when you wake up in the morning, or how the lights at night spread into beautiful orbs when you take off your glasses for a few minutes. The Christmas tree each December is especially beautiful. If I were to get that surgery, I’d never see that particular vision of beauty again.

Our imperfections in life do not always need fixing. In fact, I believe, it is those so-called flawed parts of me that give me my identity. My poor eyesight. My thin straight hair. The shape of my eyebrows, inherited from my Dad. My birthmark. My bent toes. One knee that resembles the shape of my father’s and one that resembles the shape of my Mom’s. The bump on my top lip, the only remaining scar from a bike accident with my brother when I was eight years old. I could get all of these “fixed”, but why would I want to?

There are days when I am sad and there are days when I get anxious. I also have times when I am really annoyed with people. But more often than not, my annoyance comes from others not acknowledging how the imperfections in our lives and in our selves make us who we are. We do not always need to be changed. We need simply TO BE. Supported. Acknowledged. Celebrated. Accepted. So I would like those people to please take a long look at themselves in the mirror, to gaze at their own reflection and to realize that the person looking back is a result of years and years of living life and following their own paths. And please, let me follow my own. Try to accept that I don’t need fixing. No, I am simply on my own journey. I may stumble and not see the path the way you do, but I am working to find my own way. Just as I choose not to get that eye surgery, I choose not to lose the vision of the beauty I see in this world through this particular set of eyes and in this particular point of view I have. I am my own beautiful flawed self. I am healthy and happy at my core, even on my sad days.