Let Go, Let God

When I get tense I clench my teeth and I get quiet. This happens frequently when I am driving in messy wintry weather. If I am alone, I talk to myself and then I talk to God. "Okay God, I just want to make it down this road without sliding into the car in front of me, okay? Can you help me with that please? I just don't want to hit that car..." I bet God is getting a little weary of our conversations this week. Is she talking to me AGAIN?! What's wrong now?! It's not even snowing! She's not even in the car! Yes, these conversations have occurred daily as of late. Several times a day in fact. It seems I've been awfully needy lately.

If others are around when I am tense, they'll see my jaw tense up--if they are looking over at me--and they'll have a hard time starting a conversation with me. Again, that's because I am talking to myself and talking to God...only I have the conversations inside my head, lest people think I'm losing it.

Each day brings its share of challenges, but the past few months have brought many more than I am used to. My struggles have been new and unique. I know that God will not give me any more than I can handle, but as the joke goes, I sure wish He would not trust me to handle so much! The challenges have been consistent and just when I think I am getting a reprieve for a few hours, something else happens. The challenges have rocked my patience and my confidence, my peace of mind and my happiness. But they have not rocked my faith.

My Dad sent me the simplest of emails this morning. He reminded me to "Let go, Let God". He knows I have had these four words taped to my bathroom mirror for years. Now before I get serious I have to admit that I do NOT think of this mantra when I'm on the road. As much as I like Carrie Underwood's song, I am not about to let "Jesus Take the Wheel" in a literal sense. "God helps those who help themselves" seems more sensible in this situation. But in most other situations, letting go and letting God reminds me that I only have so much control.

So after yet another trying day of clenching my teeth and talking to myself and to God, I beg pardon for being so needy and I vow to return the favor of God's grace when the stress subsides. For like the wintry mix that makes the road slick to drive on, these troubles will soon melt away also. Spring will come and I'll start to sing and steer myself to easier paths. In the meantime, I'll put my car safely in the garage and then let Jesus Take the Wheel.